FROM THE FILES OF THE SOGGY BOTTOM COUNTY DISPATCH

Shirley maintains she followed instructions. Witnesses remain unconvinced.

SOGGY BOTTOM COUNTY — What began as an ordinary visit to Shirley’s Beauty Shop has resulted in two unusually large hairstyles, one satisfied monkey, and several conflicting accounts of what was actually requested.

According to witnesses, Dixie Knox and Scarlett Sunday entered Shirley’s Beauty Shop asking for what both women describe as “a little volume.”

Shirley remembers the conversation differently.

“They said volume,” she reportedly told this newspaper. “I gave them volume.”

The results have raised questions.

Dixie Knox was last seen examining her reflection from several different angles and asking whether anyone had a hat.

Scarlett Sunday reportedly stood very still for approximately thirty seconds before asking Shirley a question this newspaper has chosen not to print.

Neither woman has confirmed plans for a second appointment.

ONE CUSTOMER REMAINS SATISFIED

Perhaps the most surprising development involves the unidentified little monkey occupying Chair #3.

Witnesses say the animal received a full beauty treatment, including an impressive teased hairstyle, and appeared completely pleased with the results.

At press time, she was still wearing sunglasses and showing no signs of regret.

Shirley considers this evidence that the appointment was a success.

The cousins do not.

SHIRLEY STANDS BY HER WORK

A sign inside the beauty shop currently reads:

80’S LADIES — BIG HAIR IS BACK!

When asked whether the sign had been displayed before Dixie and Scarlett arrived, Shirley declined to answer directly.

She did, however, remind this newspaper that walk-ins are welcome.

The Soggy Bottom County Dispatch recommends that residents interpret that information however they see fit.

THE INCIDENT HAS NOW BECOME A T-SHIRT

Because very little remains private in Soggy Bottom County, the entire situation has now been commemorated on a graphic tee.

WE ASKED FOR VOLUME
Pretty Little Riot Graphic Tee
Vintage White
$26
Printed in-house at Soggy Bottom of the South Boutique
Local pickup available

Shop the shirt inspired by the Shirley’s Beauty Shop incident:
https://www.soggybottomofthesouth.com/products/we-asked-for-volume-graphic-tee

Meanwhile, Mabel June Pickett is seeking additional information from anyone who has ever entered a beauty shop with a photograph and left looking absolutely nothing like it.

Statements may be provided voluntarily.

Photographic evidence is encouraged but not required.

The Soggy Bottom County Dispatch
Reporting the news whether the cousins like it or not.

— Mabel June Pickett, Editor